Monday, October 24, 2011

The Later Days - Editing And Expanding Season 1

Approaching the end of the writing process of Season 1, I'm realizing how much larger in scope it is that when I had initially started out. With their introductions, I knew where I had wanted Dave, Juliet, and Jansen to be by the end, and Juliana, as she serves, would be the instrument of their journey with her own, twisting ruthlessly with everybody's actions.

So when I go back, there are things that bother me like how late Jansen was introduced (only briefly in episode 4, seriously) whereas she becomes an integral character soon after, the lack of detail on the media that QU actually releases (and how it ties with the MCPD), the amounts of time elapsed between a few of the episodes (most notably between Ours And Ours [episode 2] and That's Your Cue [episode 3] where there is a five month jump, easily the longest in the season), the details on the weight of the Luke Tahrn case when presented to Juliana, and much more.

What are some of the changes I'm looking into currently? Well...

  1. Jansen is introduced in a new scene in Ours And Ours where she storms the penthouse suite, squad in tow, of the Full Tilt Casino where Juliana had killed it's owner, Timothy Edmonds, in the first episode. They move in on an anonymous tip, and they do so with extreme caution. There's nothing but a few drunk looters trying to get in the door to the suite and Timmothy's body inside. They seal up the leaking window, and Jansen inspects the scene-- including the elevators. Dave comments on how leaving the body was a nice touch, and how the viewers would eat it up.

  2. In the beginning of Manifest Nights, Juliet and Jansen have a conversation at the alley way crime scene with the obliderated convict about how the blood traveled and where the killer struck from. Hadn't planned on going all CSI, but I had this really interesting picture in my mind of Juliet in her pretty dressy clothes with a crime scene authorization laminent around her neck and latex gloves on, looking at the crime scene where she, for all she seems to know at the moment, thinks Juliana had a field day.

    Now featuring: Context
  3. As mentioned earlier, there's to be more of a focus on the media release stuff from Quote UnQuote and the process it goes through. Though much of this is something that will be included solely on the visual medium, there is still some aspects that are necessary to explain, without slowing down the story unnecessarily. These things include Juliana and Juliet's modeling, speaking on air, communications with reporters, columnists, anchors, etc.

  4. The situation with Trovial's war and how Tahrn is one of the biggest liabilities in humanity's case is explained much earlier; the end of Ours And Ours, to be exact. Makes it clear right from the get-go why he's such a massive threat and why the militaries need his capture or his body so desperately... which is why they recruit some well-established Manifest local talent...

  5. Episode 9's title changed to "Burnout" (formerly "Misguided Souls").

  6. Expansion in the mention of different races. As I have it, unless a member of a human government controlled branch (QU doesn't count in this case), just about any passerby can be of another alien race. The larger majority of them will be human, however, seeing as Manifest was created by the United States governement as 'A bit of Earth to share' during first contact (which is ironic, considering it's now home to the Xeno Hacker, "Pool Hand" Luke Tahrn). Human run, but open ground for multi-racial visitation. Earth is the same now, mostly, but there is a larger strain on who (if alien) is allowed to live there. And for those of you wondering if there will be an attractive race of aliens that are, to our perception, all female, I can confirm it here that there will... just following one of the greatest classic multi-race sci-fi tropes out there.

    You'll notice that in this first season, one of the few races getting script mention is the heavily emphasized upon Ramnent. The reason that I mention them far more than any other is clear as day; they're a massive part of the season's conflict, and the target of Tahrn/Nucleus' deranged experiments.

  7. More of Juliet's thoughts on Fitzgerald, along with more conversations between the two, without lessening the impact of her tell-all to Jansen in Listen To The Lights. Also, a toning down of how much she pours her self to Fitzgerald in Burnout. I want their romantic plotline to fit with the tone and pace of the over-arcing story, not cause eyes to roll. Same goes with Juliana and Jack's story.

  8. The entire opening scene of the series takes place quite a bit before what we have now (Juliana going up to the penthouse suite in the elevator). It's very cinematically presented, with each character's full name being presented in creative ways, in the spirit of a movie or television show's cast during the intro. It features Juliana getting on a public transit to the casino and showing everybody's routines in preparation for work. It says nothing about Juliana's profession until after the opening credit titles, to which she enters the casino, flirts with Timmothy downstairs in the lounge (this changes up the dynamic of their conversation later on), and then prepares for the job in a rented saferoom-- donning her CASE armor.

Like this, minus the broken nose/band-aid.

It's pretty exciting going back and making all of these great changes; they really enhance and enrich the story that I have planned. These are not all the changes I'm to make, however, there's still much more to be done, and those of you willing to re-read these expanded episodes will be sure to get a kick out of it.

Right now, only the two-act finale remains, in the base writing process and I'm having a blast with it, all of these plotlines coming to a head... and creating new ones as they tear on, mercilessly into the future of Fatale.

PS- I briefly considered lessening the harsh beatings Juliana recieves throughout the season. 


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I Lost My Soul Down A Deep Dark Hole - No True Protagonists

Is that strange that I take pride in the fact that Fatale has no main protagonists? Because really it doesn't. Go ahead, think about that for a second-- there is literally nobody in the story that is worthy of your respect, and nobody that wouldn't hessitate to match one wrong with another, continuing a vicious cycle that spins up and leaves red stains on more than just the white t-shirts.

Juliana Emerson: She kills people for money, gets away with it, drinks to drown her anger which emerges from her self-righteous viewpoint which creates frustration with her. So she kills more people and repeats... this one speaks for itself.

Juliet Turner: The femme fatale. Manipulates every character she interacts with at least once or constantly in the first season, and it works due to her stunning looks which she is well aware of. In fact, she's so good that she manipulates the reader as well-- after asking multiple people, I've found that she is the, quote un-quote: "most lovable character in the series". There's nothing wrong with that, because so far, aside from frightening bursts of anger that she keeps inside her head and only displays in the worst of of situations (that are rarely seen by any living person), she really hasn't done anything wrong. Hasn't killed anybody, hasn't mislead somebody to a deadly confrontation, hasn't betrayed anybody- nothing. Our little angel, right? Oh, being a master of intel for an corrupt media conglomerate, shit, forgot about that that.

David Karrington: This needs explanation? Taking after his dad, who is MIA (and still taking large shares of QU with him), little Dave found himself with a lot of shit on his plate and no dog to feed it to under the table. He couldn't be a better man than his dad; Quote UnQuote requires a certain lying sleaze that simply cannot be done away with or just about everything collapses. So when a pair of special girls come into his possession, he takes the opportunity with open arms and embraces what the family business is all about: death, money, and media. Only allowing the most high-up clients to interact with QU's secret service via trustworthy third-party sources, David seems to have things down to a science. Unfortunately, his favorite asset likes to drink and drive certain rivals into the ground just as much as he does, which shakes up business in the assassination game... which leads to leaks in what is a tightly a secured service.

Sergeant Alyssa Jansen: So the good cop isn't the good guy? No. A frightening breed of opportunist where the subject believes their actions are for the greater good of more than just him/herself. Really, at Jansen's heart, that's all she wants... but that's not what the poor girl is doing. Beyond her knowledge, it really is just for her own distorted sense of justice, which becomes a self-indulgent job in the end. The hunger for truth and, as she sees it, justice, leads her to Nucleus- the corporation she should be bringing down in the first place for harboring and fully aiding the killer everybody has been after: Doctor Luke Tarhn AKA Pool Hand Luke or The Xeno Hacker. 

Of course, her title as a police officer is abused by both her and Nucleus in the operation that shifts the story for ever: the assault on the Celestial Mast, in which she kills an apparently innocent unarmed man. You can say she is the "good" cop, but for the most part, I'd say otherwise. She's one of the sharpest people in Manifest City, but could her leaving her personal Quote UnQuote case alone be for the best? This intervention can't end well for anyone. Her father, who left a long time ago for the war on suppression on the Ramnent planet of Trovial was the only thing keeping this girl on the rails, leaving her only with the family friend Lieutenant Matthews, who tries hard, but knows that he can't be a father to Alyssa. At this point, redemption is no where in sight.

I would give these people the statuses of anti-heroes at best. It isn't as if they have no redeeming qualities; that'd be ridiculous. Whether they want to (Alyssa) or didn't have the initial intention (Juliana), they will always end up doing something for the greater good of the people around them. The thing is, they can get so much sympathy for the things they've been through, or the moments in which they shine a ray of light to the reader's satisfaction, causing them to become hopelessly... lovable. It's not like they're going to be like this on the surface forever, but as it is, never mistake these people for the "good guys". I know who the good guys are. I'm just not telling yet.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

New Fatale Script- Season 1- Episode 6- "The Arms of Kali"

It's here, and there is blood, violence, drinking, swearing... no sex though. None of that.
...Yet. lecherousface.jpeg

PM me on Galaxy or send me a request over Windows Live Messenger, and I'll send you the MSW file.

Monday, February 21, 2011

New(est) Fatale Script- Season 1- Episode 5- "Monster Under The Surface"

Looks like I forgot to do an update mentioning this... well, chances are you've already gotten it, so bitch not, my friend.

I hear there's a pretty cool line in there that sounds a lot like the episode title.
But I also hear ghosts at night.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

New Fatale Script- Season 1- Episode 4- "Manifest Nights"

Let me know on AvP Galaxy if you wish to recieve this brand new, pristine condition script for the price of exactly one virginity.